Happy New Years Eve/Day...BLAH BLAH BLAH

Dear Blog Homies,



It's been a really crappy week. I (Bird Shit) have been sick w/ the flu. That's why I haven't been commenting back or reading any blogs. Please forgive me!!! I just feel so crappy I can't concentrate on anything, it even hurts to blink. I finally went to the doctor's yesterday and got some medication. I will be spending New Years on my couch chugging cough syrup instead of beer. Oh, did I mention my work messed up my paycheck and I'm also broke a the moment? I'm such a freaking joy to be around right now, a real fucking joy! LOL Baby Caca will be spending New Years doing all the things we had planned together: hanging w/ Grandpa and the old folks playing bingo at the Senior Center and then going to our Sole Sisters house and chugging beer (not couch syrup). I am not a happy camper...not happy at all. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years and are able to chug as much alcohol as you possibly can. Do it honor of me!

Hugs and Sloppy Drunk Kisses,

Bird Shit and Baby Caca

•Day 23 (Part 2)- Something you crave for a lot

BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Caca

•Day 23 (Part 1)- Something you crave for a lot

I think it's pretty obvious...BEER!!!

Bird Shit

•Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

HI! Hope everyone had a great Christmas. Ours was actually kind of lame. It wasn't as fun as it usually is but we did have fun later on in the night when a few of our friends stopped my Baby Caca's apartment. We drank every drop of alcohol she had left in her place. Sunday it snowed it's ass off and I wasn't able to get my useless SUV out of it's parking spot so I had to stay home from work yesterday....not like I had a problem with that. I just really fucking hate snow!!! I sat around and drank wine and then Rushy came home and we went out to lunch and met one of my friends at the bar. SOOOOO I don't like this Day 22 Post. I have no clue what makes me different from everyone else. I don't really think I'm that different. I like to drink, I like to sleep, I like Philly sports, I like hanging with family and friends, I hate squirrels, I hate lightening, I hate being broke....I'm just your every day average Miss Somebody. I'm not out to change the world, I don't contribute much to society...maybe I should start recycling? Would that make me different? So that's about it...kind of lame huh. Oh well, I like my life just the way it is!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas survery stolen from this awesome chick!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate...of course w/ a little something extra. Usually some Bailey's. Christmas is a day to celebrate Baby Jesus and what better way then to drink!!!
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps everything!!! There is no fun in looking at unwrapped presents. I need the anticipation!
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? All different colors, the more the better. Ghetto that tree up.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? no, don't want that awkward moment where I'm under the mistletoe and my Grandpa is standing next to me...it could get weird
5. When do you put up your decorations? The tree goes up the day after Christmas but the decorations go up on Dec 1st
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? HAM!!! my uncle has a special sauce (get your minds out of the gutter) and it's AMAZING
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? sleeping in the same room as my sisters and us all taking turns guessing what presents we got for Christmas. One year Baby Caca ruined that by letting it slip that we peeked at our presents and knew Ama-blah had made us a doll house LOL
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I think about 3rd grade. I don't remember the exact moment. Wasn't life changing
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We open 1 gift on Christmas Eve and that's it
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? the main tree we decorate w/ all of our crazy decorations and candy canes and lights. The other tree is a fiberoptic tree and we put our nutcracker decorations on that. The 3rd tree is the Charlie Brown Christmas tree and we have a single red ball on it
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? HATE HATE HATE SNOW!!!!!
12. Can you ice skate? I tried it a few times and almost broke my neck...never again
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Doll house made by our older sister and when we finally got a cabbage patch kid
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? getting to spend time w/ the family. it's never a dull moment
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? I don't tend to eat dessert during the holiday. Does beer count as a dessert?
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? going over my aunt's house and having the Pollyanna exchange
17. What tops your tree? an angel w/ my face glued on it LOL
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving...as strange as that sounds. Don't get me wrong I love receiving but giving presents to my peeps makes me happiest
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? The Chipmunks - Christmas don't be late
20. Candy Canes? Yes? No? Color? Heck yes, I love the starburst ones
21. Do you feel Christmas is too commercialized? maybe a little, but as long as you still have friends and family around, who cares!!!

Dear Bloggy Homies,
Since we'll be busy with all the running around and drinking during Christmas, we won't be back until Monday (have a scheduled Christmas survey for tomorrow, nothing special). Hope everyone has a great Christmas (or whatever you celebrate).

Hugs and Love and Leg Humps,

Bird Shit and Baby Caca

•Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

My 2 most favorite people in the world!!! My niece and my grandpa, they had no idea I was taking this picture. They are total buds. They have nicknames for each other because of where they live. He calls her "town where she lives" Snob (keeping where she lives a secret, never know who reads this LOL) and she calls him River Rat Billy. When my grandmom passed away the first thing they ask was how the other one was taking it. As soon as they saw each other they hugged and cried together and then made each other laugh. It's funny to see him pick on her the same way he picked on us. She gives it right back though, she's a tough kid. It's just awesome to see a great-granddaughter and great-grandfather have such a close relationship.

•Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Since the love of my life passed away (RIP Corey Haim)...I will settle for

My Main Man Pots and Pans (aka Rushy)!

When I met him, I was seeing someone. When we started emailing each other I didn't want to like him. I wanted to stay single. He came to hook up my internet, the rest is history.

•Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

The Origin of Bird Shit:
It began when I was just a wee little child. My names sounds similar to Bird Shit and my mother thought it would be funny to call me that. The name stuck and it's what I am known as...no big story behind it. Also, like my twin, my niece had a hard time saying my name and the ending came out sounding like "shit". I love when kids curse LOL

The Origin of Baby Caca:
It began when she was a wee little 21 year old and our niece was just learning how to talk. She couldn't pronounce her name and it came out as "caca" or "cock". We didn't want our niece to call her "aunt cock" so we thought Caca was better. Since Caca is the youngest we have always called her the baby...hence the name Baby Caca.

So, I have a question for our bloggy peeps. Have any of you actually guessed what our real names are?

•Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

I'm not one for thinking very far into the future. I don't really have many big plans for myself. I am very content with my life. I like where I live, I like my job, I have no complaints. Of course there is always the typical make more money, nicer car, bigger house and stuff. None of those things that will make or break my happiness though. I guess if I had to pick anything that would make me happier it would be to buy a house and move out of an apartment. Just more room so we could expand the tiki bar we have set up in our dining room. Starting to run out of room under the bar for all of our stolen beer glasses. Also, one day have the whole family move to the beach. I wouldn't go unless my whole family went, because they are my happiness and without them nothing is worth a damn to me. I never really saw myself married and with kids, but if it happens, it happens. Not really making that a goal/plan/dream for my future. Just taking life as it comes at me and living it the best way I know how. I like my slacker lifestyle!

This Bitch Hates the Ditch

We interrupt this blog to bring you some weather related news. Yesterday at around 1 pm it started snowing in good ole PA. By the time I left work yesterday traffic was insane and parts of I-95 were shut down. Luckily for me I don't take I-95 home, but the road I do take home was jammed from all the redirected traffic. More cars = more chances for car accidents, like the one that happened in front of my work. I was redirected to take the backroads when I left work yesterday. BAD IDEA, VERY BAD IDEA!!! The roads weren't even touched by plow or salt trucks. When I tried to stop at the first stop sign my car slid...and kept sliding...and then spun. I did what I was supposed to do, pumped the breaks, turned into the spin, but still managed to end up crashing into a ditch. Did I mention I have a SUV and don't have 4 wheel drive because the guy at the dealership talked me out of it??? Yeah, he told me I wouldn't need it! I hate him...I hate him so much! After a half hour I got my car out of the ditch and slowly made my way home. Very very very slowly. With all the traffic, I didn't really have a choice but to do 5 miles the entire ride home. What usually takes me 20 minutes to drive, took me 2.5 hours. Needless to say when I got home I drank 2 bottles of win. I HATE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

******Want to thank Copyboy for making us blog of the day yesterday! You Rock my Tube Sock!!!

•Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

I would like to switch lives w/ a billionaire and spend my days on a yacht sipping champagne all day. Add to that a hot billionaire guy so I could bang chicks just to see what an orgasm feels like for a dude. The only thing is that the switch only lasts for a day. I would go back to my normal life and I would be left pissed off as I sip my boxed wine from a plastic cup w/ ice. I will have known the good life and never be satisfied again. I also don’t want to switch lives w/ someone who has made actual important contributions to society. Where is the fun in that? I don’t want that kind of responsibility on my shoulders. I have thought long and hard about this and in all honesty, I want to be someone really screwed up in the head. Someone who really doesn’t seem to give a flying fuck what is going on around him or just simply isn’t aware of his surroundings. Folks, I am talking about the one, the only, Gary Busey!

I have said countless times on facebook in my next life I want to come back as Gary Busey's teeth because they make me so happy. They are magnificent!!! I just want to see all the magical things that go on in that amazing brain of his. It is probably like being all the best drugs in the world, but not having to worry about OD'ing. Just for one day I want to live life completely bat shit crazy and not get arrested or locked in the nut hut. People would just say "eh it's ok, it's just Gary Busey".

•Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)

aren't we the ugliest little things you have ever seen? We look like rats with shark fins! All 4lbs of us...my poor mom! Baby Ca is the one on the left with her hand up ready to bitch slap me. I am cowering in fear. Things are still like that now, she has all the power (even if I am bigger than her and can kick her ass). As I have said before...I am Baby Caca's bitch!

We eventually did get cuter...SEE!!!

•Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Here's the awesomeness that's on my IPOD:

1. The Dan Band - Total Eclipse of the Heart (from the movie Old School)
2. The Clash - Rock the Kasbah (the sheep don't like it, lock the cashbox, stop the cat box)
3. Anthrax - Got the Time
4. Toto - Africa
5. 2 Hype Brothers and a Dog - Doo Doo Brown
6. Digital Underground - Doowutchyalike
7. Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam - I Wonder if I Take You Home
8. Slick Rick - Children's Story
9. Samantha Fox - I Wanna Have Some Fun
10. Pantera - Cemetery Gates

Rushy downloads songs on my IPOD for me because I am too lazy to do it (also clueless). I am glad none of the dorky songs popped up...like Ace of Base - The Sign or Paula Abdul - Rush Rush...crap now you know they are on there!

•Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Grandma and Grandpa...The ones who started it all The Family

Most of us are hiding our beers in this picture LOL

For any outsider looking in our family may seem a bit “off”….perhaps a little “touched”…..We were raised in a unique environment. We grew up in our Grandparents house with pretty much our entire family. That’s right, I think there were probably 10 or so people living there at a time….we had 1 bathroom. Looking back it was slightly dysfunctional but that’s just us….a little quirky…a lot of fun! There’s always a story to tell and always a memory to share. Holiday’s are the best because that’s when we get to relive those special moments that made us as close as we are today. Granted it’s not the type of memory filled with love and joy and caroling…..Nope, our memories are filled with a house with no heat, hot water, and rats and squirrels running through that walls.

•Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

I have to preface this letter/email for you bloggy friends out there. Baby Ca and I went to a class reunion with our family and Rushy's family. We grabbed Rusy's brothers girlfriends (aka Rat Teeth) purse and camera off a table because the place was closing and we didn't see her around. Baby Ca and I were then accused of trying to steal her stuff. Rat Teeth and I were close and it really hurt me that she thought I would try to steal from her. So this is an email I wrote her recently because she has been texting me like nothing is wrong, but then still talking shit to Rushy about us stealing from her. Also, Rushy's brother got in my face that night and SCREAMED like a lunatic calling me a thief. This is the same brother that yelled at me in this blog post.

"Dear Rat Teeth (I used her real name),
Honestly, I don't want to keep pretending that everything is fine. I am still really hurt and bothered by what happened the night of the reunion. I know you still think that my sister and I tried to steal your purse and I'm definitely not ok with that. It's one thing to accuse me of something but to accuse the person who is closest to me of something like that is not something I can get over. I told you what happened that night but you STILL believe that we were trying to steal from you. I can’t believe I have to repeat myself when I say that the only reason the stuff was picked up off the table was so someone wouldn’t take it. That is what friends do, watch out for each other. I don’t take back what we did and I would certainly do it again for one of my other friends. I know my friends would do the same for me and I would appreciate it instead of thinking they were a thief. Now the way Rushy's brother acted towards me that night on your behalf, well that's on Rushy. That's his brother and whichever way they choose to handle it is up to them. As far and me and you go, I thought we were friends but that’s obviously not the case anymore. I really valued our friendship and considered us close but the friends I choose to have would never think that of me or my twin. So when we see each other at Rushy family functions we can be civil and say hi and bye and what not, but as far as us being friends and texting each other or hanging out, I don't see that happening. Damage is done and I am moving past it. I am done talking about this and feeling upset and hurt over it. I have people in my life that know me and what I'm about. "


I wrote this about 3 weeks ago...Never did hear back from her! I'm glad I didn't because like I said, I am moving on. I don't need those kind of people in my life. Rushy has talked to his brother since then and he told him "save your breath, don't try to convince me any different about her. I know she was trying to steal from Rat Teeth (he used her real name as well LOL) and there is nothing you can say to make me think any different." To say I don't like my boyfriends family is an understatement...they are all pretty much like that! If I ever see either of them again, I may just punch them in the face...I tend to do that when pushed too far. Yeah, I'm ghetto White Trash, so what!

•Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Our older sister Ama-blah sent us an email from one of her friends about this blog she had been reading that she thought was SO funny. I have to agree, the blog was funny. Baby Ca and I thought, no KNEW, we were way funnier then those chicks and decided we needed to write our own blog. We wanted to amuse ourselves (tehehehe amuse ourselves), Ama-blah, her co-workers, and a few friends and also find a way to do even less work then we already do during the day. With the craziness of our family, my drunken nights out, and Baby Ca just being, well just being her stupid ass self, we knew we had a lot to write about. We started looking around for free blog templates and found Blogger. We thought it would be best if we didn't use our real names in our blog because we talk shit on way too many people. Only a select few friends know about it and hopefully if we ever get in a fight with them, they won't out us (not in a gay way, not that there's anything wrong with that). We have made a lot of really cool blog friends along the way too. Even going as far as becoming facebook friends and meeting in person. (Shout out to my POO Whisperer aka P.W. - again w/ the 2 letter nicknames! LOL The rest is history, along with the blog that started the whole thing. The chicks who wrote it got in a fight and now it no longer exists.

•Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

From front to back and left to right (btw: don't ever wipe like that...you're welcome)

(Girl Crush, Rushy, Baby Caca, Mo Fo, Sole Sister, Bird Shit, Life Partner, and JOOOOOSH)
I have given most of my friend 2 name nicknames. I'm too lazy to write out or even say full names so my clever little initial nicknames work for me.

This picture was taken during one of our many game nights. I know it was a fiesta themed game night because Rushy is drinking some mexican beer that tasted like total ass...um...not that I would know what ass tastes like. Also, we have flowers in our hair because our one friend (not pictured or even invited to game night) made fun of chicks that wear flowers in their hair. He said they are all pathetic and desperate. How did he know...er...I mean, not true, not even a little but true! Life Partner was actually drunk enough to let me hold her baby that night too, pretty brave on her part because I tend to think all of my friends kids ruin my life by being born. I may have been tempted to punt her baby like a football across the room. All they do is keep my friends from drinking for 9 months, stupid responsible parenting. Has no one figured out yet that it's all about ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In this picture, Girl Crush is still pregnant with her little bundle of annoyance, which she gave birth to yesterday. He has a name, Bradley Peter (tehehe Bradley's Peter) or as I like to call him BP, as in the BP Oil Spill. Both were horrible mistakes that wrecked major havoc in my life. Just kidding, that just sounds really mean cause honestly, the BP Oil Spill didn't effect me much.


***Today is Baby Caca's Christmas Party at work...oh shit, should I be politically correct and say "Holiday Party". NAH, F that noise, CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS! I fully expect it to be the usual shit show!

•Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

I like today's challenge, doesn't involve a lot of thinking. Thinking too much gives me headaches LOL These are the songs I listen to when I'm feeling in these particular moods:


When I'm happy is: Grateful Dead - Chinacat Sunflower. Pretty much any Grateful Dead song will make me happy, but there's just something about Chinacat Sunflower. Love that song...I am smiling just thinking about it.


When I am Sad: Amazing Grace or Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here. Grace was my Grandmom's name and I can't hear that song without thinking about her. She loved the song too and wanted it played at her funeral, which we did! Wish You Were Here reminds me of my Uncle Mike who also passed away, Pink Floyd was one of his favorite bands. I miss them both so much, but am happy they are with each other in a better place!


When I am Bored: Barnes and Barnes - Fish Heads. This song reminds me of when I was a kid watching MTV. My sisters and I loved that song, we thought it was the best song ever written. MTV was so cool back in the day when they actually played music.


When I am Hyped: Run DMC - it's Like That. This song makes me want to be a breakdancer. The beat is so freaking awesome. I am about to bust out some cardboard, my Adidas shell tops, and my Kangol hat. Anyone up for a little breakdance fighting? Hansel, he's so hot right now.

When I am Mad: Pantera - Walk. HELL'S YES! I feel like getting into a drunken brawl right now...ok maybe not a brawl, but the drunk part would be cool.



*******My Girl Crush aka Baby Donk gave birth this moring to a little boy. Her and her boyfriend haven't picked a name for the little guy yet! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

•Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

I am proud that I am a damn good grandkid! My grandpa was really down this weekend because my bitch aunt was supposed to come and visit him and never showed up. He was looking foward to getting out and having a few beers with her. I wasn't feeling very well, but I got my ass up off my couch and picked Grandpa up and took him to lunch...also got him drunk! LOL He had a lot of fun chatting with the other bar patrons (my friends/the regulars at the bar). When I went to drop him off thanked me for getting him out of the house and lifting his spirits. The next day was his Senior Citizens Banquet and my mom was supposed to be his date. She was really sick so she called me to see if I would be his date. I said yes, of course!!! He looked so handsome in his green coat and red and green striped tie. He got a lot of compliments from the ladies at the senior center. He told him it was his special jacket he only wears twice a year: for Christmas and St. Patty's Day. After the dinner was over a bunch of the seniors decided to stay and play Bingo. He asked me if I felt like staying and I could tell he really didn't want to leave. We ended up playing Bingo for almost 4 hours. I will say I pissed a lot of the seniors off...I won almost every other game. Note to self-never win Bingo at the senior center when you are not a senior citizen. They get very mean when they lose $3. The very last game we played, my grandpa and I needed the same number. We were sitting there giggling like idiots waiting for them to call the number. Once they did we both screamed BINGO and could not stop laughing. We had such a great day, I love that man so much!!!!!!! (btw, I gave Grandpa all of my Bingo winnings).

•Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Gonna be a lot of "air quotes" in this one folks. To be honest, I try not to set any goals for myself. I am a total underachiever and if I set goals, I never follow through. If you look up "slacker" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of me. Ok, you won't find a picture of me, you will just find the definition of "slacker". The only short term "goal" I have for this month is to FINISH Christmas shopping. That's right folks, FINISH not START. Usually I am the idiot out on Christmas Eve trying to get all my last minute shopping in. Poor Rushy last year I gave him cash and he had to go and get his own present from me because I put if off too long. This year I started early and hope to be home getting drunk on Christmas Eve instead out at the mall annoyed with other idiots like me. I guess another "goal" would be to pay my bills on time...I'm not sure if that's really a goal or if that's just called being a "responsible adult". Who the F really cares though, I'm doing it and proud of it! Think I may have overdid it with the "air quotes", my bad.

•Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

UGH, I hate getting emotional and sentimental on our blog. We just want to keep it fun and laugh, but once in a while we have to go outside our norm. The Relay for Life was a great experience for my sisters and I to have with our mom. My mom is a single mom and raised us girls alone and has made us especially close with her. She's the only parent we have ever known. It's always been Winnie and her girls, no matter what. When my mom told us she was diagnosed with cancer we were devestated. We were faced with the possibility of not having our mom around. My mom stayed so strong throughout the whole ordeal and never let on to us girls how scared she was. I don't know if I were in her position if I could put on the same brave face. She has since been cancer free for 5 years and we got to celebrate our mom at the Relay for Life. It was very emotional to see her taking her Survivor lap with my niece because my niece was just little when my mom was diagnosed. They are each others best friends and I can't imagine who they would even be without each other. What really impacted me that night was seeing all the Luminary bags with people who have had, have, or passed away from cancer. I actually sat on the track and broke down and cried when I saw the one with my mom's name on it and feeling so lucky that we still have her with us. Some people that were there weren't as lucky as we have been. We are thankful every single day that we still have our mom, our best friend, our hero!!!

•Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Does Jem count as a superhero? She had superhero qualities...she had an alter ego, Jerrica Benton. She fought evil, The Misfits and in later episodes The Stingers. She helps the less fortunate, Starlight Foundation for Girls, a foster program. She was the lead singer in a band and had awesome 80's hair, makeup, and clothes. She made me want to be a cartoon character...I actually still want to be. Why Jem you ask? Well I like to sing (even if I suck). Karaoke nights are truly where I shine. Also, she wore awesome makeup. When I was younger I used to try to do my makeup like Jem and ended up looking like a 9 yr old hooker. Oh and she did good deeds and shit...that stuff never really mattered to me even as a kid, but it sounds good to say.