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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Oh Hello There

Been while... I'm not sure if anyone will comment because it's been so long. Let me assure you of a few things: we are still drunk, we are still assholes, and we are still...um...drunk! I (Bird Shit) am currently drinking alone. I really miss blogging. I miss coming on here and making fun of people none of you know and being a complete jerk. I blame my stupid job for blocking blogger at work again. Now I am back to doing work (not really, reading celebrity gossip). It's shameful!!! I wish I could get paid to just blog or make fun of people because that is my true calling in life (ohhhhh Facebook status for tomorrow). Won't anyone create a job for a high school graduate with a really shitty attitude and mean streak? Anyone? So I guess that's about it for now, I want to stop writing and do some blog stalking!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Repost If You Like

Ama-blah reposted this the other day on Facebook:

Someone once said, "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."~ Re-post if you like. . .

I hate reposts! I don't know why they irk me so bad, but they do. I then commented back with my own repost:

Someone once said "there comes a time in your life when you instigate drama in other peoples lives because it's entertaining to watch. You surround yourself with people who are easy targets that you can pick on and laugh at. Forget the go...od and focus on the bad because plotting revenge is more fun then doing good deeds. Love the people who give you money and wish death on the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy at bad things that happen to people you hate. Falling down is a part of life and I hope I'm either tripping you and making you fall or the one laughing at you when you do...repost if you like >:)


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Can You Hear Me Now?

This past weekend poor Grandpa lost his hearing aids. He puts them in all sorts of weird places and never remembers where. He says to me "I either put them in the butter dish or my glasses case"...cause you know, that's where they belong. He was so bummed out he couldn't go to Seniors and play Bingo because he wouldn't be able to hear the numbers being read out. I (being the amazing grandkid I am) took him out to the bar and got him drunk. Beer makes everything better. Since he couldn't hear, we had to shout at him. Then he wants to order food and forgot his glasses and couldn't read the menu. I'm glad I was at our favorite bar and everyone knows Grandpa there because I'm not sure they would have been as amused at me shouting the whole menu to him. By the time we left the bar, he was drunk and I had a headache from shouting. When I dropped him off, he told me I was his favorite grandkid...but then again, he also called me Baby Caca's name LOL He still hasn't found his hearing aids so I think there will be another bar trip this weekend. I will make sure I bring aspirin w/ me this time.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

BINGO

A couple of weekends ago we decided to join Grandpa at Senior Citizens and play Bingo. We figured we would stroll in there and win all the money from those ancient bastards. We were wrong...so very wrong. We didn't win 1 game out of the 30 they played (yes 30 rounds of Bingo, 30 freaking rounds). Baby Caca is a very sore loser! She kept pouting, calling everyone cheaters, and stomping her foot. Every game she threatened to quit, but I made her keep paying because it's fun to watch her antics. One of the old bitches there actually said to us "you know you are actually allowed to win a game". She's lucky I punch her and steal all her Worthers Original candies. Old bitches be serious about their Worthers! I did threaten to follow one lady out to the parking lot and rob her of her $3 winnings...I think she thought I was kidding. Luckily my mom was there to stop me, otherwise I might be typing this from the prison library. Eventually we got bored playing and just drew on Grandpa with the Bingo markers. We are the best grandkids ever!!!



Notice the green dot on Grandpa's arm


Friday, July 29, 2011

It's BAAAAAAAAACK

My work recently took away Facebook, blogger, and a bunch of other websites that keep me distracted from doing actual work. They also asked Well, I discovered today that they are no longer blocked. It has led me to do not 1 single piece of work today, but has made me very happy. Since I am extremely lazy today, I will keep this short. I can't wait to catch up w/ all the blogs I have been missing on Monday and can't wait to let you all know what's been going on in the lives of the Two Twins. Toodles (yes, I wrote toodles, I am lame)

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Greatest Day in History







Today is the day Baby Caca and I were born!!! Some say our birth was 2nd only to that of Jesus himself. Let's think about that shall we:


Bird Shit + Baby Caca = 2

Jesus + 0 = 1


It's simple math, WE WIN!!! Sorry Jesus, hope we can still be friends.


If any of you want to send us presents, just let us know and we'll give you the address where to send them...make sure they are expensive and shiny! EXPENSIVE AND SHINY DAMMIT










Thursday, July 7, 2011

You've Been Warned

Something is happening tomorrow...here's a hint:


Wombmates Twincesses


Drinking Buddies


Twinado

Dynamic Duo



Best Friends


Kisses...


...and Hugs


Soul Mate


Partner in Crime