HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE! Random Emails

We're thinking of party plans for tonight so we can't think of crap to write, enjoy:


Nitty Gritti: Question for the ages: Why does she persist in thinking out loud?
Baby Ca: Because she just wants to show us that she actually has some thoughts in her head. Otherwise we would totally think she's a moron.
Nitty Gritti: Can you imagine if we thought that?
Baby Ca: Mine would sound like this
.................................................................

See what I did there. That was silence because pretty people don't have thoughts.
Nitty Gritti: It took me a second b/c I'm so pretty that it's hard for me to figure things out.


Bird Shit: I can't wait to see you and peck at you like a chicken!
Boo JB:Are you saying you are a chicken head?
Bird Shit:(scratching head w/ one finger and patting my weave) GURL you know it!


Bird Shit: wow that was a punch line YOUR DAD would use
Tyrone: LOL Probably. That's why they eat out a lot. Omg! I can't believe I just said that about my parents! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! LOL
Bird Shit: LOL cause you know where my mind is!
Tyrone: I had to beat you to it! LOL
Bird Shit: yeah like your husband beats you!
Tyrone: Just b/c he's Spanish doesn't mean he beats me....he just throws me down the stairs a lot
Bird Shit: he's Mexican, not Spanish DUH
Tyrone: Well, Mexico was invaded by the Spanish, so he's 1/2 Spanish! Duh!
Bird Shit: liar, it was the Irish that invaded Mexico
Tyrone: No, the Irish invaded Germany and that's why the Germans are all drunks now! Stupid Irish! LOL
Bird Shit: NO you are wrong, the Africans invaded Germany! man, are you sure you went to school?
Tyrone: Well, they invaded Germany AND Czechoslovacia and Japan. That's why those languages sound like gibberish
Bird Shit: no that Chinese invaded Japan that's why they all look alike
Tyrone: Well, then, where'd they get their black hair? It must've been from the blacks in Africa! Duh!
Bird Shit: They got it from the Welsh
Tyrone: They got it from grape juice
Bird Shit: you raise an interesting point....


Bird Shit: Baba Love, my Baba Love
My Baba: My name is luka. I live on the 2nd floor
Bird Shit: LUKA I am your father
My Baba:LOL.... I don't have a come back for that..
Bird Shit:Cause I'm keepin it real
My Baba: You keep it real and I jizz in my pants
Bird Shit: For some reason that video turns me on! LOL
My Baba: seriously?
Bird Shit: LOL NO!
My Baba: How am I supposed to know.I don't know any of your turn-ons...lol
Bird Shit: I love it when you call me Big Poppa!
My Baba: Ok Brig Poppa.Hey,Were you/we planning on going out after shopping tomorrow?
Bird Shit: Yeah planned on planting our asses down at Champs YO! Is that cool w/ you?
My Baba: I thought that was the pre-game?
Bird Shit: Well stop thinking so much! I figured we could have a few before and a few after. I shop better w/ a buzz on LOL what time are we meeting up? I have to get Baby Ca too
My Baba: Shut up. I meant pre-game at champs of course. Get our game face on. Get our shop on then Maxs or something. But nothing wrong with a replay at champs when we done.
Bird Shit: I am not going to feel like going to Max's after shopping. I just want to stay in one place....you're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore.....LOL
My Baba: I'm just asking so I can plan accordingly CHRIST SAKE GET OFF MY BACK!!!!
Bird Shit: Son of a........
My Baba: I will punch you right in the uterus
Bird Shit: Straight shot!
My Baba: BAMM!!!
Bird Shit: KPLOW! ZOOM
My Baba: Did this just go from a shot in the cooter to the BoZo Show?
Bird Shit: Does it make me a loser that I used to watch that show every day before high school and got mad when they cancelled it?
My Baba: Does it make me a loser that I wanted to beat the crap out of the kids that missed the first bucket?
Bird Shit: Yeah we are total losers! Lol

The Sweater, Pollyanna, and Grandpa's Booze

Yesterday I was still riding high yesterday because the Eagles crushed the Cowboys on Sunday, so I didn't write about how Christmas went. Rushy got me a few things but my big gift is him paying to get this hideous tattoo I have covered up. Word to the wise, never get a tattoo done when you are drinking, but also when the tattoo "artist" is drinking with you. LOL I think I am going next week to get it done, I can't wait. There were 3 things I wanted to discuss The Christmas Sweater Contest, Pollyanna, and Drunk Grandpa.

1. The Christmas Sweater Contest - this thing has taken on a whole new meaning. It started out as an Ugly Sweater contest but has since become a Christmas Costume contest. Usually I will make an ugly sweater and get all kinds of iron on patches and gawdy pins, but this year I actually bought a hideous looking sweater from Boscov's. I waited until last second and didn't have time to get creative. Baby Ca on the other hand took it to a whole new level, she made herself a Christmas Tree costume. It was awesome, I was sure she was going to win. We get to my aunt's house and my aunt is saying my cousin Bratney is going to win the contest saying she has the best sweater/costume. Ama-Blah and I were Team Baby Ca while Aunt Dee was Team Bratney, we were SO sure out team had the best sweater/costume. When it comes time for us all to reveal our sweaters/costumes I see Bratney walking down the stairs at the same time Baby Ca comes walking (more like waddling because her shoes were boxes wrapped like Christmas Presents) in with her costume…well cousin Bratney was also dressed like a Christmas tree! LOL Baby Ca was declared the winner because she made her costume and Bratney bought hers. I have to come up w/ something really good to top them next year. I am sick of losing!

OH Christmas Tree!

2. The Pollyanna - I think this year people didn't really put much effort in to their Pollyanna presents. I searched high and low trying to find something cool w/ in the budget that people would like so I had to spend a little more. My uncle got a lap top table and said he could use the tray when he works at home, but keep in mind this uncle doesn't own a computer and doesn't have a steady job (or a job PERIOD)! We said that he could use if he's sitting in bed or on the couch to eat food off of. Sometimes people get gifts they don't particurally like, but they fake a smile and say thank you and make a mental note to find out which store the person bought it at so they can take it back and get store credit. Well, not my family…they would actually groan outloud and say the present was crap or they hated it. What Christmas spirit! LOL

his new tray table

3. Drunk Grandpa - Grandpa is the easiest person to shop for: gift certificate to Goodwill, gift certificate to local diner, booze, or something irish. This year no one mixed it up and we all got him booze. I got him a big bottle of White Zinfandel, Ama-blah got him a big bottle of Pinot Grigio, Baby Ca got him a case of Bud Lager, and someone else got him a 6 pack of Guiness…PARTY AT GRANDPA'S!!! Out of all this booze, he was only disappointed in Baby Ca's. They had been at a bar a few weeks earlier and the bartender gave him a free Bud Lager because he has never tried it before. He just gushed about how much he love the beer, so much that Baby Ca got him a 6 pack before she dropped him off that day to enjoy in the comfort of his own home. Baby Ca knew the perfect gift to get him for Christmas - WRONG, turns out he was just being nice to the bartender because she gave him a free beer. He hated it! LOL Guess I'm still the favorite grandkid.

Grandpa and his booze

There are more Christmas memories, but they are very hazy. At least I wasn't hammered like Thanksgiving and start a fight w/ Baby Ca again!

WIN AND IN.........

Fly Eagles Fly,

On The Road To Victory.

Fight Eagles Fight,

Score A Touchdown 1-2-3.

Hit 'Em Low.

Hit 'Em High.

And We'll Watch Our Eagles Fly.

Fly Eagles Fly,

On The Road To Victory.

E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!!!

Bird Shit and Ama-Blah with our game face on!

Merry Day After Christmas

I think Baby Ca has off work today, I'm not sure but I haven't gotten an email from her so far today. If she does, I hate her because I am stuck at work with a horrible hangover. I think I might actually still be drunk. I got in here an hour late today, but it's ok no supervisors are here anyway. It may be an electric lunch day if my buddies are in work today. Hope everyone had a great Christmas, I did and I will get in to more detail about it on Monday. We got stories about the Christmas Sweater contest, the Pollyanna, and other random crap but I can't think straight to even try writing about today. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

*** This is Baby Ca. My company was nice and let us come in from 10-3 today. I got to sleep in and sleep off my hangover. Merry Day After Christmas Everyone!

***holy balls Batman. I went to electric lunch w/ some other peeps I work with. They are amazing and we left at 11:30 and got back after 2. They will now be included in the BUZZ club! lol

Merry Christmas!

80's White Trash Family Photo

Lyrics to the best Christmas song ever!

Christmas in Hollis - Run D.M.C.

Run:
It was December 24th on Hollis Ave in the dark
When I seen a man chilling with his dog in the park
I approached very slowly with my heart full of fear
Looked at his dog, oh my God, an ill reindeer
But then I was illin because the man had a beard
And a bag full of goodies, 12 o'clock had neared
So I turned my head a second and the man had gone
But he left his driver's wallet smack dead on the lawn
I picket the wallet up then I took a pause
Took out the license and it cold said "Santa Claus"
A million dollars in it, cold hundreds of G's
Enough to buy a boat and matching car with ease
But I'd never steal from Santa, cause that ain't right
So I'm going home to mail it back to him that night
But when I got home I bugged, cause under the tree
Was a letter from Santa and all the dough was for me
D.M.C. :
It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees
Decorate the house with lights at night
Snow's on the ground, snow white so bright
In the fireplace is the yule log
Beneath the mistle toe as we drink egg nog
The rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl's
But each and every year we bust Chrsitmas carrols
(Christmas melodies)
Run-D.M.C. :
Rhymes so loud and prod you hear it
It's Christmas time and we got the spirit
Jack Frost chillin, the orchas out?
And that's what Christmas is all about
The time is now, the place is here
And the whole wide world is filled with cheer
D.M.C. :
My name's D.M.C. with the mic in my hand
And I'm chilling and coolin just like a snowman
So open your eyes, lend us an ear
We want to say
Run-D.M.C. :
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Random Emails: Bird Shit and Tyrone Edition

Since it is going to be a busy week with everyone running around doing last minute Christmas crap, we are going to leave you with some Bird Shit and Tyrone random emails. Our slacker asses haven't done shit at work lately so we have had a lot of time on our hands to be mean to each other. This will save you from boredom if you are stuck at work like us. Enjoy!!!!

Tyrone: I was just gonna ask when your x-mas party was then I remembered you're not even allowed to say the word "x-mas" there. LOL
Bird Sh*t: LOL they actually cancelled our party this year. one guy here is having a party for employees and it's a non company sponsored event. $30 a ticket for open bar, food, and DJ. I might go
Tyrone: Is it really considered an "open bar" if you have to pay? LOL Maybe they should just label it as "YOUR MOM" since her legs are open and you get the goods for free! Oh wait, maybe I shouldn't say that considering I'm the one sitting here 5 mos pregnant! LMAO
Bird Sh*t: yeah you whore, you put out at least 3 times in your life to have 3 babies. my mom only did 2 times! LOL
Tyrone: LOL She must've gotten that Kmart special where they had the buy 1, get 1 1/2 off deal...explains a lot about Baby Ca....LOL
Bird Shit: LOL Baby Ca's a BOGO baby!

Tyrone: Yeah, I think it is. LOL I think my 1 boss' son is such a freakin' snob.
Bird Shit: you should blow a snot rocket at him
Tyrone: I could wrap him up in my jacket and give him a Dutch oven! LOL
Bird Shit: that is probably the sexiest thing you have ever said!
Tyrone: I know you want me now, huh? LOL
Bird Shit: More than you will ever know! LOL

Tyrone: I get to work and my 1 boss left a note on my desk about this guy's paychk. Well, this guy was supposed to be laid off and then they decided not to do that and so they kept him. I forgot to add him back onto the job list and so when I did the chks yesterday, I just threw his in the mail b/c I forgot they had kept him. I'm so mad at myself for it, but it's not the end of the world. Worse things have happened.

Bird Shit: I blame the stupid baby! LOL

Tyrone: I tried to tell him that, but he didn't find it that funny. Booo!!! Union guys suck! LOL

Bird Shit: well I have to agree w/ your boss...I see nothing funny about your stupid baby.....ugggh stupid baby! LOL

Tyrone: Your mom

Bird Shit: my mom is a stupid adult

Tyrone: But she gave birth to stupid babies. Oh! Burn! LOL

Bird Shit: true...you got me there!

Tyrone: And your mom must be extra stupid b/c she gave birth to 2 stupid babies at one time! LOL Yeah! Take that!

Bird Shit: I think she would rather have 2 stupid babies then one FUGLY baby. your poor mother....well at least you have a good personality. OH WAIT, no you don't, you are fugly and boring!

Bird Shit: you are so smart!
Tyrone: I know! Sometimes I truly amaze myself! LOL
Bird Shit: You make me want to write love songs
Tyrone: I have that effect on people. LOL
Bird Shit: death metal love songs!
Tyrone: Oh, thanks for clarifying that. My ego was starting to swell again. I'm glad I have a friend like you to put things back into perspective for me. LOL

Bird Shit: it's what I am here for

Tyrone: Yeah, that's what your mom says about you. I got to help 1 of our workers' wives a few mins ago. She was freaking out b/c her toilet was overflowing and she didn't know what to do, so she called here trying to get a hold of her husband. I told her how to shut the water off to the toilet and she was like, "Oh, ok!" LOL I told her that I'd still have her husband call to make sure she was ok tho'. Thank God my husband went to vo-tech for plumbing or my house would always be flooded! LOL
Bird Shit: LOL if my toilet started overflowing, I would walk out of the bathroom and pretend I didn't see it and then leave my apartment and not come back until Rushy fixed it and cleaned up the mess...LOL
Tyrone: LOL You would too! It's so simple to make it stop. The line/pipe that you see that runs from your toilet tank to the floor or the wall (it's usually 1 of the 2 spots), you'll see an oblong knob attached to it. Just turn it clockwise (righty tighty, lefty loosey) and it'll shut off the water to the tank so it'll stop the overflow.
Bird Shit: you think if my toilet is overflowing, I'm going to be searching around the overflowing wreck looking for knobs and pipe lines, hells no! I'm getting the hell out of dodge and leaving someone else to clean that mess! lol

Bird Shit: we will go back and forth and I'll still email you even after you bore me and the conversation is dead
Tyrone: I hope it's not dead like our Love Fern! LOL I watched that movie over the weekend. Still cracks me up.

Bird Shit: I know I love it
Tyrone: I want that yellow dress she wears! That dog is just plain creepy! LOL
Bird Shit: you would look pretty fat in it though
Tyrone: Now? Well, duh! I'd look like a big freakin' grapefruit! Yellow on the outside and pink in the middle! Of course, I'd be pink if I went tanning and stayed in the bed too long...I can't really think of any fruits that are round and yellow and Casper-white on the inside. LOL
Bird Shit: yeah but even if you weren't pregnant w/ the stupid baby, you would look completely fugly in it because let's face it, you still have that face....LOL

Me and Tyrone flexing

Before the stupid baby ruined everything LOL

You got knocked the fuck out!

Friday night was a good crazy. Baby Ca, Rushy, My Baba, one of my co-workers, and I decided to do some Christmas "shopping" after work. We did actually buy 2 gifts but we got bored and headed to the bar in the mall. We sat there and drank and eventually decided to go to DE where my co-worker and Rushy's cousins live and go to a bar around there. Nothing really excited happened there, except for my co-workers friend farted in the bar and tried to deny it. It was so obvious it was him and he almost got his ass kicked for it. Saturday night was a bad crazy night. was my buddy Jansen's annual Christmas party in his parents basement. This party has been going on since high school but because people grow up and have kids, the party has gotten smaller. Before the basement would be so packed you couldn’t even move, this year there was a total of 10 people there. Last year one of Jansen's buddies got completely out of hand, to the point where Jansen actually choked the guy and thought he killed him. Luckily it just knocked him out and he was fine. This year the same guy was there being an ass and getting on everyone's nerves. He tried to hit on this one girl there and she just wasn't having it, so he walked by her and bumped into her really hard. Yeah, very mature move for a 35 yr old guy. She didn't respond to that so he walked by her again and slapped her on the leg, she turned around and yelled at him not to touch her. Finally he punches her really hard in the arm, so I stand up and start yelling at him to leave her alone. None of the guys saw what happened so they just see 2 chicks yelling at this dude and are telling us to calm down. When we finally let them know what happened they were telling the guy to apologize to the chick. He starts going off and another guy that was there tried to punch him in the face…well I happened to be in the middle of them and luckily Jansen stepped in and contained his friend before I got hit. We thought we had things calmed down but the jerk off starts running his mouth again. Rushy told the guy to just calm down or leave. Guess that guy didn't like that too much because he started going after Rushy. Rushy sat there and as the guy got closer to him, he punch this guy so hard in the eye. Dude got knocked the fuck out! His eye was busted open and there was blood everywhere. Rushy then jumped on top of him and was like Ralphie on Scott Farcus. We finally pulled Rushy off the guy and I made him and the chick go upstairs w/ me until Jansen got the dude to leave. I didn't want him trying to start crap again and have another fight break out. Jansen finally got the guy to leave and we laughed about what had happened. The next morning I am getting phone calls from everyone asking me if Rushy really hit the guy and knocked him out. I was like "yeah it's true" and everyone had the same reaction "Good he deserves it but I just can't see Rushy doing something like that, he's so laid back". There weren't even that many people at the party and not even 24 hours later, everyone I hang out with knew. Word travels so fast in our gossipy town. It really is out of character for Rushy to fight or argue, he is the most laid back person you will ever meet. Once you mess w/ his family, his girl, or his friends he takes care of business. I have to admit, he looked damn sexy all fired up like that w/ the dude's blood on his shirt…is that sick or what? LOL

Knocking Rushy out w/ the Rocky finish

My Sick Boo

My work Boo JB was sick. I made her a comic/card.


It might be hard to read. This is what it says:
The Adventures of Boo & Boo
Block 1:
Boo JB: I don't feel good
Baby Ca: Here have a thermometer
Block 2:
Boo JB: 10,000 Degrees!
Baby Ca: Well you are HOT
Block 3:
Boo JB: I love you Baby Ca. You are so beautiful, smart & perfect.
Baby Ca: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Block 4:
Hugging
Baby Ca (thinking): Man, Boo JB has an awesome rack
THE END
GET WELL SOON

I'm Gonna Knock You Out

After a night of partying me and T came home and I was pretty wasted. I wanted to go to bed so I decide to smoke some pot. Not a good idea. I was pretty drunk and I had to get up and pee a lot. Well as I mentioned before I don't handle pot that well. Anything else yeah but not pot. Well I go in the bathroom and getting ready to walk out the door and I don't really rememeber too much after that. I must have blacked out and fell backwards and slammed my head into the wall on my way down and then the tub and then finally the floor. T hearing this didn't come to check on me. After about 10 minutes of me laying there I peel myself off the floor and go to bed. I probably had a concussion but I was too stoned and drunk to stay awake. I got up the next day and called out of work because I finally decided to go to the hospital. Between all this excitement T finally told me that he heard something in the bathroom but thought it was shampoo bottles falling. Yes, shampoo bottles falling now sound just like someone smacking their head. Well I didn't want to go to the hospital but T's mom insisted. I didn't want to go because for some odd reason I thought they would take my blood and then they would know I was smoking pot. So the lesson to be learned here is to not smoke pot and go to the bathroom without their being pillows all over the floor. That is your lesson for the day children.

See, we do love each other

SCREAMING IN CARS WITH GIRLS

Guest Blogger Tyrone:
The twins and I decided one night during the summer of our jr. year to go to McDonald’s. They were spending the night at my house and the only McD’s we knew of that was open late was about 15 mins from my house, but we were hungry, so off we went on our adventure. (It’s actually located right down the road from the mall in which Baby Ca and I got “lost” in when we were stoned. LOL) Now, just getting INTO the car was always a fight between those two. Baby Ca usually was the 1st to call “Shotgun” as soon as driving somewhere was mentioned. Most of the time, Birdshit would suck it up and be ok w/ it, but there were other times that it’d piss her off to no end! Someone had eventually given me a copy of the “Official Shotgun Rules” which I was more than happy to display in my car, so that helped a lot in settling those arguments.

Back to the McDonald’s trip, as I’m making a left off of my street, someone got the bright idea to scream and act as if I had made the turn way too sharply and threw themselves against the door. Something tells me it was Birdshit considering she would’ve had the most room to exaggerate and throw herself while sitting in the backseat. That did it. Every turn or stop I made consisted of the 3 of us screaming as if we were in constant fear of crashing.

We pull into McDonald’s, still screaming of course b/c I had to turn to get into the drive-thru and eventually pulled up to the speaker where you place your order. B/c I had to stop, that also brought on screams and throwing. I had forgotten that I had rolled my window down at this point, so the 3 of us are screaming in the poor McD’s worker’s headset. LOL I recall the twins telling me that those headsets are super sensitive b/c they worked at Wendy’s at 1 point and would complain that people would either shout into the mic or think that no one could hear them and they’d find things out about people they really didn’t want or need to know. So, after our screams stopped, we hear over the intercom, “Uhhh….are you guys ok?” (The guy was obviously a teenager since his voice had not quite “changed.”) We just burst into laughter and assured him we were fine, just being stupid.

We were still cracking up when we got to the window to pay and the guy started joking back w/ us. I think he ended up hitting on us too, but we were so not into his pimply self. LOL I don’t remember if we continued the screaming on the way back to my house or not, but knowing us, we probably did. Needless to say, Dick-dad was not happy to find hundreds of hand and face prints all over the windows when he took his car to work the following day! LOL

Tyrone with her special beer helmet on

I Love My Boyfriend's Job

I love my boyfriend's job. He works for the cable company and not only do we have a $5 cable bill every month (that includes all channels-even HD channels, on demand movies, and his personal favorite the playboy channel), but we also get offered tickets to sporting events all the time. We usually get the club box seats and that includes free food, free booze, and comfy seats. Monday night we got free tickets to the Eagles game. We were about 5 rows above where the the players run out of the tunnel. We got there at 6 to start tailgating and something happened to us that has never happened before…I'm almost ashamed to admit it….we ran out of beer! Rushy and I told ourselves before the game started that we were just going to drink in the parking lot and get a nice buzz on before going into the game, because the beers in the stadium are SO expensive. We ended up stealing a couple of beers off of his brother, before his brother caught on to what we were doing BUSTED! Lol Evil Little Pnut ended up meeting us in the parking lot w/ her friend and she was just a little insult machine that night. This one dude came over and tried to talk crap to Rushy's brother saying he needed to man up and stop shivering because he was cold and put some more clothes on (yeah guy was drunk and was trying to be tough and ended up sounding retarded). Evil Little Pnut told the dude that Rushy's brother didn't want to wear a Kmart turtle neck and acid washed jeans from 1984 that makes him look like he's smuggling grapes. I love Evil Little Pnut! We get in the stadium and I meet up w/ some of my girls (we call ourselves Bananas-me, Strawberries, and Grapes) and they are TRASHED, apparently they didn't run out of beer like me. Grapes was hitting on this concession stand guy and gave him her #. Now I know she was wrecked cause the dude was ugly, he looked like a retarded Fat Albert, I hope he calls her so she can see what he looks like when she's sober. I did break down and buy a beer for myself, Rushy, and his brother, shit costs $20! Some stupid Dallas fan (LOL sorry John) had the nerve to wear his Dallas jersey in the stadium - the Eagles weren't even playing Dallas. Needless to say the dude got tormented and left after the 1st period. I love Philly fans!!! The Eagles ended up beating the Browns so I was really really happy. We found my other friends after the game and hung out with them for a little while after the game and drank all their beer. I felt like total crap in work yesterday and went home and crashed. Might be going to the Flyers game tonight, so I get to repeat the whole cycle all over again…I'll say it again, I love my boyfriends job!

Bananas, Strawberries, and Grapes Me and Evil Little Pnut Me and Rushy

Happy Birthday Girl Crush!

Saturday night was my Girl Crush's birthday party. All my lady loves were supposed to meet up at Hibachi's for dinner that night and then meet up w/ everyone else at the bar afterwards. I called my friend Mo up to what time time everyone was meeting up for dinner and to see if I could get a ride to the bar afterwards with her. I wanted Rushy to drop me off at the restaurant so we wouldn't have to take 2 cars to the bar. Good thing I called her because I found out we weren't going to the Hibachi's in DE, but the one in PA. I would have been dropped off there waiting for my friends to come and would have been stuck there. I ended up just making plans to meet up w/ Mo at her house and we would drive to the restaurant together. I planned on stopping by the mall before I went to Mo's for my Girl Crush's present but the road to the mall was closed so I couldn't get her anything. I finally make it to Mo's and we go to CVS cause we both have to to pick up a card and tap Mac. She also didn't have a chance to get a present so we improvised. We went around the store and picked up some nice gifts for her. We got her Vagisil, corn remover pads, some lube, a Santa Sippy cup, and 3 packs of her brand of cigarrettes (it was buy 2 get 1 free). We start driving to the restraunt and we are a few minutes late…I hate being late. We drive on the road where we think the restaurant is, but we come to the end of the road and no restaurant. We call to find out where it is and turns out we ended up driving 20 minutes out of our way. There are 2 Route 1's where we live and we hopped on the wrong one. We finally show up to the restaurant 30 minutes late and but it was cool, we had a good time. Nothing really exciting happened at dinner, but we went to the bar afterwards. We ended up having what we call the "Solid Gold Dance Party USA". We completely took over the bar (as usual) and my bra went missing again (also as usual). Girl Crush was wearing "chicken cutlets" because she has no boobs and we ended up making her take them off and we had them over our eyes and we looked like flies. There were lots of kissing, ass slapping, and boob grabbing going on…and that didn't include the guys! LOL I somehow ended up out of my sweater and into the Karate Kid hoodie My Baba bought me and lost my hat. I know Mo wanted the hat, so I'm pretty sure she walked out w/ it. It's cool it was only $5 and I can get another one. We all did lots of shots at midnight because of my Girl Crush's bday and my other friend showed up and it was her bday too. We ended up closing down the bar and the owner let us stay after hours because he loves us. I love my friends, it's never a dull moment when they are around.

Bird Shit as The Fly (the chicken cutlets)

My lady loves (my Girl Crush is in white) Happy Birthday honey!

Non-Company Sponsered Holiday Party

The company I work for is one of the companies on the news this past year that has been bailed out by the government. Since the company is doing pretty crappy this year they decided to cancel the holiday party. This one guy that works with my mom has a brother that has a catering business and a hall, so he decided he was going to throw a non-company sponsered party for the employees. The tickets would be $30 per person and it included free booze, food, and DJ. Unlike the party the company throws, we could also bring anyone we wanted. I was debating all day Friday if I was going to go, because I still have a lot of Christmas shopping to do. I talked to all of my buddies I have electric lunch with and they were all going, so I decided it would be fun and got my ticket. I asked the guy how many people bought tickets and he sold 120, so it would be a pretty good turn out. The party started at 6 and Rushy and I get there at 6:30. We walk in and there about about 12 people there. The DJ wasn't there yet but the beer was and that was all I was really concerned with. About 12 more people showed up around 7:30 and that was pretty much it for the rest of the night. A lot of people left around 8:00 so there wasn't much of us left, which I think was better because we ended up getting crazy after that. The people that were left were my friends, the electric lunch peeps. Less people, less witnesses to embarrassing behavior. The DJ's showed up around 7 and they were kids. I'm not kidding, one was 14 the other was 12! Needless to say once we started getting drunk there was no way these kids could stop us from grabbing the microphone and singing. I was the first one to sing and I sang The Outfield "Your Love" and then there was my duet w/ one co-worker and we sang the song from Grease "You’re the One That I Want". One guy that was there walks w/ a cane and he was playing air guitar with it and he got up to sing too. I was his #1 groupie and as he was singing, I proceeded to take my bra off and throw it at him. He ended up wearing it on his head for the rest of the night. LOL We ended up playing quarters with the centerpiece on the table and one co-worker bet that if we made it in, he would run around w/ his butt hanging out. Well, we made it and he made good on his bet. I saw some co-worker ass! Lol Even though the turnout wasn't all that great, it was still a really good time.

Fuzzy Christmas Memories

Baby Ca's fuzzy memories:
I don't remember much from the party. I will write down a few foggy memories. I remembering calling one girl a troll face whore because she didn't want her picture taken. Bitch. I did look at my camera today and saw that my Boo JB took pictures of everyone's shoes…. Random….. I also think I managed to fondle half the people in the office. I guess I'm the office groper. Oh well, if you're going to be known as something I guess it's better than being known as a prude. I met a woman that's married to one of my co-workers that went to school with Aunt G and Uncle B. I boreassed her for about an hour with stupid family stories. As I can recall now she kept saying something about "having to go". I wasn't listening. I can only assume now that she didn't want to listen to another story.... LOL. So I was "that person" that was standing in the buffet line that kept pretending she was going to knock people's plates out of their hands.... "She's SSSOOO funny" I assumed they all were saying..... Probably not. I got the idea in my head that T wanted to leave (he didn't). So I went over to him and slurred "We'll leave after one more beer". Well I panicked and realized that there was still plenty more beer to consume. So I drunkly whispered to one of my co-workers to sneak me a beer. That went on for about 6 beers. I was pretty hammered at this point and decided that it really was time to call it a night. I went around and hugged everyone and blew on all their cheeks. After I was done spitting on everyone I went home and passed out and was an hour late for work the next day.
Bird Shit's fuzzy memories:
The evening started off great, I thought I was looking pretty hot in my outfit, it was a good hair day, my make-up rocked. I had a corsage for my date Shorty LK (which Baby Ca and Boo JB made at work that day) so I was pretty sure she would be giving up the booty for me if I played my cards right. Baby Ca, T-Doggy, and I go to leave and it's raining out, good-by good hair night. For some reason it was hot out that night and I decided to wear a heavy sweater and I was sweating, good-by perfect make-up. It was open bar and buffett. I ate some chicken, green beans and a roll, not too bad I didn't pig out. Well, what I lacked in food I made up for in beer. I was double fisting w/ from the first round of drinks. I ended up getting my beer bloat on, good-bye looking hot in my outfit. Oh well, I ended up getting drunk, I know so unlike me, and started hitting on on Baby's Ca's co-workers. I hit on one of the shop guys and made him blush. I kept telling him I wanted to take him out in the parking lot so we could make-out (I never would have done that though, I was just messing with him). One of Baby Ca's other co-workers must have overheard because then he is asking me to go out in the parking lot w/ him. I said to him "ewe no, that's not going to happen", mother f'er was persistent though. He had man boobs and not even perky ones, they were more around his arm pit area, gross. Baby Ca and I ended up in the bathroom together at one point and thought it would be awesome if we took sexy pictures using the hand dryer as our own personal wind machine to make our hair blow around. We looked straight out of Michael Jackon's "Bad" video. As everyone was saying their good bye's, Baby Ca and I think it is so funny that we kiss people on their cheeks and then blow in their faces. Yeah pretty annoying, but it was funny at the time to our drunk asses. I ended up taking it one step further though and bit Boo JB's face…she's yummy num num num. That's pretty much all I can remember from the night, I can't wait for next years party.

Baby Ca and Bird Shit before everything became fuzzy

Random emails

Baby Ca's Christmas party was last night and we are incredibly hungover. Neither of us can think straight so we are posting random emails. Enjoy!!!
Bird Shit: Hello my friends!
Tyrone: Good morning
Bird Shit: hey punk ass
Tyrone: Whassup? Man, I was just going off about my daughters music teacher. Apparantly, my daughter was eligible for Honor Roll (which is all A's), but had to settle for Merit Roll (A's & B's) b/c her music teacher grades WAY too harshly and gave her a B in his class. What a dick!!! Personally, if none of the kids can get an A in his class, then he's obviously not a very good teacher!
Bird Shit: and you can't be too hard on elementary school kids! if you want super serious, go teach at a high school
Tyrone: Thank you!!! That was my point exactly! Even middle school can handle that, but seriously? He's messing w/ kids under 10!
Bird Shit: you should complain to the school about him
Tyrone: I told my husband to go ahead and do it. He was ready to march to his classroom last night and punch him in the face. Something told me that that probably wasn't the best way to handle the situation. LOL Also, he ended up changing the school musical from Fiddler on the Roof to Annie. Quite a contrast! LOL I figured that a lot of parents complained about it b/c Fiddler is a VERY heavy subject for elem. & middle school kids
Bird Shit: LOL this guy is retarded
Tyrone: Yeah, no kidding. My co-worker just said that he's upset b/c he didn't get the high school teaching job, so he's taking it out on the little kids. I said he's probably just upset b/c he didn't make it to Broadway
Bird Shit: I hate this guy and I never met him
Tyrone: I know, right? I'm glad now that I never tried out for any of his musicals! Yikes! He would've been a nightmare to work w/
Bird Shit: he wouldn't use you on stage though, you are too fugly. you would do the scenery!
Tyrone: Or the stage makeup.
Bird Shit: no cause he would see the job you did on your own face...LOL
Tyrone: Maybe I'll just hand out programs then. LOL
Bird Shit: no you are for strictly behind the scenes
Tyrone: I like it from behind. LOL
Bird Shit: does anyone really give you a choice? I'm sure they would rather look at the back of your head than that mug of yours! lol

Girl Crush: I need your addr for Christmas cards
Bird Shit: Send nudes
Girl Crush: how did you know what you were getting?
Bird Shit: I wished on a shooting star and my dreams are now coming true
Girl Crush: you're amazing, I hope I see you before my birthday
Bird Shit: I usually go to my sisters house on Wed or Thurs to hang out, you free then
Girl Crush: those are the 2 nights I have my son (who just turned 1) so I can't go out
Bird Shit: isn't he old enough to stay home alone yet, he'll never grow up if you keep babying him Girl Crush: I'm at least waiting until he can reach the stove, this way he can cook for himself. he's almost there
Bird Shit: can't he just order himself pizza...crap, he probably has to know how to talk and form sentences huh
Girl Crush: well if I teach him pizza and calls a place that knows our address we could do it
Bird Shit: or just teach him to order online, problem solved
Girl Crush: you're a genius
Bird Shit: yeah I should totally teach a parenting class, parents have to know it's ok to leave their toddlers home alone to go and get sh*tty with their friends.

Ama Blah: So, I'm going to try this week to get all four dogs to sit with my daughter in front of the Christmas tree and take a Christmas picture lol Should be interesting!
Bird Shit: LOL have fun w/ that!
Ama Blah: Yeah, I know. My Fiance just laughed at me when I told him what I was going to do.
Bird Shit: what if you just get a stun gun and just pretend they are all sleeping in the picture...
Ama Blah: that would totally work!!!

Ama Blah: Ok, so my Fiance and I are struggling over the wedding song to dance to. Many good ones, but not one that is really standing out. I'm looking for suggestions here, like a couple so we can listen to them all and see if we fall in love with one. Old, new, whatever! Just something!
Baby Ca: How about "I'm actually going through with this one and I can't believe he's actually marrying me" song
Our Momma: I'm going w/Erica on this song. Or how about “I already have the dress, lets see if I can get him to the altar "


Ama Blah’s Friend "E": I wanted to say thank you to all of you who participated in the food drive this year. I know it was short notice but we had a great turn out. All of that food will be able to feed several families!
Let’s aim for more next year!
Thank you!
Baby Ca: Seriously that’s a good way to get out of food shopping. Just say you’re collecting food for a “food drive”. Where did you drop this food off at for this “food drive”? Do you have any kind of receipt for this “food drive”?
Ama Blah: I’m sure your kids are appreciative for the “food drive”…
Baby Ca: Funny how "E"’s lunch this week consisted of mainly canned goods……… hhhhmmmmmmm…….


Baby Ca: I have to tell you how stupid I am. Thanksgiving is on the 27th this year. Last week I said “I can’t believe it’s on a Thursday this year”. Yes, I am that stupid. To make it worse to the same person I said “Halloween is on the 31st. Why is it so late this year?”. I am seriously the dumbest person ever!
Bird Shit: Next thing you know people are going to tell me Easter is on a Sunday this year.
Baby Ca: LOL and Good Friday is actually on a Friday...the nerve of people!
Bird Shit: Same with Ash Wednesday. I can’t believe it!

Ama Blah: So, do I start bugging you right now while you are resting about your friend making the invitations or not LOL
Baby Ca: HAHA! It was on my to do list today. I need the wording again. I can't find it in my e-mail.
Ama Blah: I'll get that right to you man. One thing though, the picture seemed a little bright or something when you sent it to me. Maybe blurry, not sure, can you see if he can make it look not so.. whatever it is lol
Baby Ca: He can fix it. I'm going to make sure your face is still blurry. I don't want people projectile vomiting when they open it.
Ama Blah: Dude, I almost spit my tea at the computer. I hate you lol
Baby Ca: You're drinking tea? Is it for an upset stomach? Did you look at a picture of yourself?

Bird Shit: I miss your sweet ass
Boo JB: I love you
Bird Shit: Oh bebeh, I'm toad-lly in love w/ you!
Boo JB: What are you wearing to the xmas party? I hope its just a bow!
Bird Shit: I'm still not even sure if I can go. We're still working on T-Doggy to let me go in his place. It's not like he'll even have fun. If I do go I am going to wear a saran wrap dress...
Boo JB: Maybe a bear will eat him today
Bird Shit: LOL the bear will be all like "num num num he tastes like spaghetti and meatballs"...you know cause he's Italian and all....um...yeah!

Good Morning to You Baby Ca

T almost died this morning. Correction, I almost killed T this morning. I HATE when he wakes me up in the morning and somehow he always manages to do it. I don't know if he realizes that his alarm going off for 5 minutes or turning every light on in the house will wake me up but he manages to do that EVERY MORNING! So I have this new thing that I do in the morning. I'm apparently completely lazy so I'll get up and switch ends on my bed and stretch my alarm clock as far as it will go so I don't have to get up and keep hitting snooze. I'm half hanging off the bed but I don't care. I don't have to get up. Well T somehow tripped over the cord and pulled the alarm clock out of the wall. I, of course, don't care if he's hurt. I just care that I now have to open my eyes and reset my alarm clock. It takes me forever to fall back to sleep and I only had an hour left to sleep. Not a good f-ing morning.

*** Tonight is my work Christmas party! I'm bringing T and Bird-Shit as my dates. That's right, 2 dates, that's how I roll. I also get to hang out with my work Boo JB and Shorty LK (we try to be gangsta doesn't work). We'll write about it tomorrow. We'll take drunken notes when we're there so we don't forget anything. LOL

Sweet Caroline

I seriously HATE that stupid "Sweet Caroline" song. I want to punch Neil Diamond for ever singing that stupid fucking song and having it find it's way to douchebag college kids around the world. I can't tell you how bad I cringe when I see the retarded kids waving their hands in the hair and raising their beer glasses to this classic tune. UUUGGGHHH! I'm thinking about it now... "oh, oh, oh, ..... so good, so good". My stomach just turned. I might puke. Uncle B, Aunt G, and Bird-Shit were at the bar Thanksgiving morning and they were telling me about some jackass college guys that were singing along to that song. They were holding their hands in the air (yes they were holding hands) and swaying to the song. I wish I was there so I could've smashed a beer bottle in their face.... or maybe something a little less violent like maybe point and laugh at the sissy boys.

Evil Little PNut

T's Cousin PNut is awesome. She's fun, adorable, and super nice. Well recently I discovered something horrifying about her. This has seriously changed my views on her and we may never speak again. I just don't think I can deal with this horrible news that I've learned. PNut does not like the movie "A Christmas Story"!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW! CRAZY! I think she might be the devil. I mean what person doesn't like that movie!!!??? I'm horrified!! I just can't fathom the idea that someone is so evil that they don't like it! It's insane. I mean with such classic lines like:

Ralphie: No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

Ralphie: Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!

Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.

Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.

There's just so many more. I love this movie. I watch it from the time it comes on Christmas Eve when they do the 24 hour marathon until it ends. I might have to kidnap PNut and tape her to my couch and tape her eyes open so she can watch it again and see things my way. I can always do what I do to Bird-Shit and cry or pout until I get my way. All I know is something must be done.

DRAMA QUEEN

I hope one day I can be as happily married as Aunt G! LOL Rushy and I are going out to visit Aunt G tonight and we had to make plans in secret because we don't want her husband tagging along. He doesn't know she's getting done work at 6:30 and that we are going to meet up at the bar and have a few drinks together. I guess he will find out when we all show up at her house drunk. Aunt G's husband is a total drama queen. He makes himself out to be a victim all the time and tells anyone who will listen that Aunt G is crazy. I know Aunt G is crazy but I would be too if I had to live w/ him. Here is his blog from his myspace page where he tries to get the sympathy vote to anyone who will listen:
The Title of this Pathetic Blog is: "Knife In The Heart"
It's really hard to deal with when your "wife" tells you she doesn't have feelings for you anymore. Goes out with her friend and meets someone, then she says that her "family" said to call this guy. U try & hold things together, but the screaming & yelling that comes from her is to much to handle. There's no conversation. U can't say anything, or she takes it the wrong way and yells. Tell's her family only her side of the story. U change your ways for her, doesn't matter. If only her family could "see" how she really is. And not a bad person, just issues she has to deal with(and I'm not talking about me). I don't usually write these blogs, except in a tradegy or something in our or the families life's, but this hurts to much. Trying to see the keyboard as I type this ain't fun.(and no beer..ha-ha). Enough venting, just wish there was someone to talk to as she does with her family(which I thought was mine also).
Here's the bleeding hearts who fell for his crap:
Chick 1: Keep your chin up!! You are a good guy and you can talk to me if you want. Id like to be your friend even though I am far away.Chick 2: Oh honey I am so so so sorry. You have no idea how much I understand what you are going though. Keep your head up hon. You deserve SO much more. If you need someone to talk to I am here for you.Chick 3: I can be reached online on yahoo messenger or aol if you need a set of ears. Hugs
Aunt G read this pathetic blog from him and wrote a response. She tells it like it is! Go Aunt G, you may be crazy but who the heck isn't. TEAM AUNT G:
WOW!! First of all "I Did'nt meet anyone" Why am i even responding to this CRAP! Lets put things in perspective..When we moved her 8yrs ago i thought"this was our dream" obliviously you had different plans. While you were on WORKMANS COMP for the millionth time, i was driving back and forth to Philly working an 8hr shift with a 2 hr commute( Back and Forth) to come home to Parties every night! Other times you would leave me alone to go up the Hill to party with the neighbors. Lets not even get started with the Bars..out every night with your best PAL and wrecking your truck! Who was there to pick up the pieces?? ME as always! I've bailed you out of DEBT to many times to list! Every vacation was a NIGHTMARE..as long as there was a BAR you were fine! Lets not forget the Time you put me in a COMA! YES i BLAME you..The stress and unhappiness i felt living with you at that time put me there! be honest? In all the years (19) to be exact! What have i ever done so Bad? NOT 1 Thing! I cook,clean go to work and try to pay the bills on time..i've always been the PARENT in this relationship! I really don't think you ever matured past the age of 20...LIFE is a BIG PARTY for you and i was never invited! You are selfish in many ways,you tend to only think about yourself! So before you Boooo Hoooo for poor old you, Say a Prayer and Booo Hooo for me! Now that the shoe is on the other foot,and i go out once a month(if that) with a friend, i'm cheating or having fun..Woooo Hoooo!! You see,You are so used to taking advantage of me and ME not ever leaving the COMPOUND "As you call it" It's driving you NUTS! Yes i have a friend but most of all i have my FAMILY! A person can only take so much before they throw in the towel..mine is ripped to shreds! You need to start taking responsibility for your life and actions!!

10 Year Anniversary

Next week is my 10 year anniversary at work. I have no clue how I have lasted at this place as long as I have. I have lasted here through my drug phase and would come into work still tripping or still rolling my face off on ecstasy. I made it through turning 21, which I was pretty much drunk every day I came. I have been written up on termination warning every year I have been here because I call out sick all the time or I'm late. Regardless of all that, I am still here. CONGRATS TO ME!!! I already picked out my gift (Dooney and Bourke bucket purse) and I love it. It's the black one w/ the multi colored DB's on it, even the zipper is multi colored. We also used to get a $300 lunch and invite whoever we wanted...well no more. Since our company is in the crapper and has been all over the news, we aren't allowed to do any celebrating anymore. They offered $150 for pizza and hoagies and we can't go out for this celebration, it has to take place in the cafeteria. I'm ok with that though, I wanted to invite a lot of people and figured pizza and hoagies would be the way to go. My problem is I hang out w/ people in my mom's department more (my electric lunch buddies) and only hang out with about 5 from my department of 20. I don't hate anyone I work with, I am just not close to them. I know if I don't invite them, they will talk behind my back and it will just make things even more tense than it already is here. It's pretty much like high school at my job, very cliquey. I don't really talk to anyone, I tend to sit at my desk w/ my headphones on and ignore them all. When someone tries to talk to me about someone else I smile and nod and don't say a word. I don't get into that crap because I have sat back and observed for a long time here and know it's better to just not get involved. My bosses tell me I need to be more social at work and I always tell them "I have never been called down to human resources once and everyone else here has. It's never been anything related to work, it's always because someone doesn't like what someone else said about them. I would rather just sit back, be quiet, keep to myself and do what I have to do here, because at the end of the day, my job is not my life and these people aren't my friends." After that they never took points off of my review for it, I guess they might have seen my point. I think I might just invite everyone and make everyone happy. I can't even have the stupid luncheon until January and I'm already stressing about it...it's a good thing I go out and drink at lunch and take anxiety medication, otherwise I would lose my mind.

You're Pretty When I'm Drunk!

Baby Ca and I have always lived in the shadow of our older sister Ama-blah. Ama-blah has always been the pretty one, she was never a fat kid, never had a horrible bowl cut (even though she did cut her hair before and gave her self wings), the cheerleader, voted most congenial...you get the point. Baby Ca and I were pretty (didn't know it at the time though, no self esteem in high school), the fat kids who ate all the M&M's out of Ama-blah's fundraiser candy, got tortured with the horrible hair cuts (which helped Ama-blah come up the brilliant nickname for us "her little brothers"), were in the band (we didn't play instruments but I was a baton twirler and Baby Ca twirled the big flags, so were weren't entirely band geeks), and no way would be have been most congenial (we were bitches even then). When I go out I have guys who love me and always buy me drinks and always try to hook up w/ me. It really boosts my self esteem, even if they are losers, but it feels nice to be wanted. It all changes when I bring Rock Star Ama-blah out w/ me. It's night at the Roxbury because they all want to dance w/ her and end up practically dry humping her LOL One guy I am friends actually came over to introduce himself and it was cool at first, Ama-blah was obviously not interested because dude is about 4 foot tall, not attractive, and kind of dull. She nicely blew him off but it didn't matter, he was in love. We were just sitting at the bar, talking and laughing and she has to go to the bathroom. Well, as soon as she leaves the guy comes over me practically in tears and asks if Ama-blah is mad at him. I was confused, I told him no why did he think that. He said because Ama-blah shot him a dirty look. I told him he was crazy and my sister didn't care about him enough to throw him a dirty look. Poor kid was devastated, but I didn't care, I'm mean and it made me feel better to crush his spirits. Eventually it got so bad w/ the guys hitting on her and sending her free drinks, Rushy and I had to escort her out of the bar, him in front of her and me behind her so no one else could try to air hump her. At T-Dog's 30th birthday party Baby Ca introduced our older sister Ama-blah to one of T-Dog's aunts that she had never met before. The aunt actually says w/ Baby Ca standing right there "oh so you're the pretty sister"!!! No joke, she actually said that. Well I wish T-Dog's aunt could have seen Ama-blah when she was pregnant...YUCK! I have never seen an uglier pregnant person. There really isn't a purpose to my post except to show people a picture that has been a favorite in the family since Ama-blah was in 5th grade. I just wanted to show people that even the prettiest people can take the most hideous pictures! I also love our mom for not allowing her to get retakes because she said one day she would laugh at it. Momma knows best! LOL

The Thanksgiving Day Aftermath

Today my poor twin, Baby Ca, is feeling under the weather. Bitch needs to relax once in a while. She works 3 jobs and was running Grandpa and T-Doggy's mom around all day yesterday and it was cold and rainy. Poor kid is wearing herself out. Hope you feel better little sis!!! I will make mom buy you some soup and ginger ale. Anyway, I am finally recovered from Thanksgiving Day. I ended up at the bar Thanksgiving morning at 8:00 am and was downing beers until I left there at 1 pm. Grandpa didn't end up coming to hang out this year, but Aunt G and Uncle Bri Bri were there getting drunk with me. We went to try to watch the football game across the street at the high school, but I ended up starting to pass out on the hill so we decided we should go back to the bar and drink more. I ended up "breakdancing" at the bar while my friends cheered me on. I thought I was great but now I know I was awful and they cheered me on so they could laugh at me…I love my friends LOL I hit on some old red neck dude to get him to buy me a beer. It worked but then he wouldn't leave me alone after that. I had to get one of my friends there to pretend he was my boyfriend…and I made him buy me a beer too! Lol We eventually made it over to my other aunt's house for dinner and all I ate was mashed potato's and macaroni and cheese before I passed out for 3 hours. I was supposed to go to the Eagles game that night but I was still too drunk to go. I had a headache and did not feel like sitting out in the cold, I would have been a pain in the ass if I went. Rushy ended up taking his little brother and his dad so I stayed at Rushy's parent's house and passed out on the couch. His mom came home a couple of hours later and we watched the game together. I had to work Friday so I wasn't able to do any Black Friday shopping, but it didn't really matter because I am broke anyway. I was SO ready to get drunk when I got home from work on Friday, but after my 2nd beer the keg kicked. Needless to say, poor Rushy had to put up w/ my shitty attitude for the rest of the night. Saturday I had to get fitted for my dress for Ama-blah's wedding. I hate myself, I am a fat piece of crap. I am seriously hard core on my diet again, I can't be the big girl in the bridal party! I saw the Trans Siberian Orchestra Saturday night. They were AWESOME! I definitely recommend them and I am definitely going to see them next year. Sunday I made Rushy go and pick up a new keg and I got completely hammered yesterday. I ended up eating everything in sight because the diet started today. I wanted to stuff my face one last time before I have to be good and stick to a diet. I should have made Rushy get me some peanut M&M's when he was out getting the keg yesterday…I have been craving them. I passed out kind of early and Rushy said I was talking in my sleep, something about Black Friday shopping and Grand Openings. Guess that's a sign I might want to start doing some Christmas shopping. I think this year I'll be giving out booze and gift cards.

At the bar Thanksgiving morning: Bird Shit, cousin Bratney, Uncle B, and Aunt G